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Category: All new jokes - Why We Appreciate Men And How Our Bubbles Get Burst When He Ain't Prince Charming!! (and added comments) 1. They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. (At least that's what his girlfriend/wife says - depending on which YOU are!) 2. They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. (The *names deleted* of the world. . .teehee!!) 3. They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not. (Yeh, don'tcha love it when they say you look great. . .just don't get over 200 lbs!!) 4. They're beyond enthusiastic about sex. (OK if they are discriminate. . .about who they are having it with!!) 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. (And don't be shocked if it is their wife. . ."you helped me through a hard time in our marriage and now it's better than ever" OR. . ."yes, I confess, I DID have a fling (you!!), but let's not let that interfere with "us"!!) 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek. (Well, at least the newly shaved cheek. . .and just so it isn't back hair!!!) 7. Bravery around snakes, waterbugs, bats and flat tires. Sometimes a MYTH!! (The sexiest man I ever knew - among others - do not have that particular instinct!) 8. Their unapologetic lust for a nice hunk of beef or chocolate cake. (And, sometimes to our dismay. . .just their unapologetic lust for a hunk!!) That's when our female phrase "WHAT a WASTE!!!" comes in handy!! 9. Their ability to solve problems simply by throwing a ball around. (Better than throwing US around. . .) 10. The glimpse you get, when they wear their baseball cap backwards of their inner Little Leaguer. (That is something I will just leave alone. . .kind of cute on some. . .) 11. How tender they get when they cry and how seldom they do it. [When their team loses. . .or when they are at a pick-up bar and she/he turns out to be just waaaaayyyyyyy too young. . .and the ones who are interested are Madam-look-alikes (as in Madam and Waylon!)] 12. What they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action. (. . .at the slot machines or the Baccarat tables. . .OR hitting on their secretaries!) 13. They make excellent companions when driving through rough neighborhoods or walking past dark alleys. (Say WHAT!!??!!) 14. They really love their moms. They remind us of our dads. (Richard Simmons loves HIS Mom and doesn't remind me one thing of my Dad!! Nor Dave Letterman. . .hmmmmmmm!!??) 15. They don't mind accompanying a woman to a party even though she looks like a movie star and they look like the chauffeur. (I ain't touchin' that one cuz I know people with limos!!) 16. Their near-endless appetite for discussing the ins and outs of work and money - ours as well as theirs. (well, the ins/outs of about anything and OUR money, in particular) 17. Their genuine ardor for tinkering with toilets, changing oil and assembling gas grills - jobs any intelligent woman can do but would be nuts to volunteer for. (Some do, some don't. . .either THEY do it or it gets HIRED done. . . I don't even want to LEARN that stuff and don't blame them if THEY don't!!) 18. They never care what their horoscope, their mother-in-law, nor the neighbors say. (. . .AMEN!!) 19. They rarely lie about their age, their weight or their clothing size. (. . .don't get this wrong. . .they DO lie about fishing, money and women!!) 20. How awestruck they are in the face of a Wonderbra or a homemade cookie. (. . .all with the same enthusiasm!!) 21. How sexy their butts look in jeans. (. . .this person must know David Bowie!) 22. How sexy their hands look holding ours. (No contest. . .) 23. Their face is a treasure to behold when they give us a present they picked out. (. . .and they are pretty decent about it when we exchange it for something we really like, too!!) 24. Their ignorance is usually amusing (Sometimes. . .depends on OUR mood !!) (If we are REALLY, REALLY gone on him. . .he is the smartest man in the world, regardless of how ignorant. . .did I say that??!!) 25. They have a great sense of competition (Good if it is at work/earning $$$$. . .bad if it is notches on belts or bedposts!!) 26. They can make great sex partners ("CAN" is the operative word here. . .usually have to have some in-house training!) 27. They give great hugs, ( and always melt our hearts when a sweet "I love you Princess" is added) (Princess, Schmitzess. . .all I ask is that I be treated no differently than the Queen!!) 28. Though they often try to hide it, they're very tenderhearted and caring. (and they are MASTERS at hiding it. . .oh, to be fair - there ARE moments. . .) 29. They have an uncanny ability to look deeply into our eyes and connect with our heart, even when we don't want them to (Good when it is hubby/boyfriend. . .BAD when it is David Bowie/Lenny Kravitz) (REALLY bad when it is Bill Clinton. . .) 30. They don't care whether colours match but are willing to be concerned if we want them to be (. . .unless it is at the football game. . .then COLOR counts!!) 31. They can be taught (. . .and when you get one trained. . .just hang in there as the older they get - the harder to train!!!) 32. They give us a peek at the little boy inside when they get sick or happy or hurt. (More like the Pamper/Binky stage. . .)
Kategoria - Category: All new jokes - Szczegóły aforyzmu

"Why We Appreciate Men And How Our Bubbles Get Burst When He Ain't Prince Charming!! (and added comments) 1. They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. (At least that's what his girlfriend/wife says - depending on which YOU are!) 2. They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. (The *names deleted* of the world. . .teehee!!) 3. They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not. (Yeh, don'tcha love it when they say you look great. . .just don't get over 200 lbs!!) 4. They're beyond enthusiastic about sex. (OK if they are discriminate. . .about who they are having it with!!) 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. (And don't be shocked if it is their wife. . ."you helped me through a hard time in our marriage and now it's better than ever" OR. . ."yes, I confess, I DID have a fling (you!!), but let's not let that interfere with "us"!!) 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek. (Well, at least the newly shaved cheek. . .and just so it isn't back hair!!!) 7. Bravery around snakes, waterbugs, bats and flat tires. Sometimes a MYTH!! (The sexiest man I ever knew - among others - do not have that particular instinct!) 8. Their unapologetic lust for a nice hunk of beef or chocolate cake. (And, sometimes to our dismay. . .just their unapologetic lust for a hunk!!) That's when our female phrase "WHAT a WASTE!!!" comes in handy!! 9. Their ability to solve problems simply by throwing a ball around. (Better than throwing US around. . .) 10. The glimpse you get, when they wear their baseball cap backwards of their inner Little Leaguer. (That is something I will just leave alone. . .kind of cute on some. . .) 11. How tender they get when they cry and how seldom they do it. [When their team loses. . .or when they are at a pick-up bar and she/he turns out to be just waaaaayyyyyyy too young. . .and the ones who are interested are Madam-look-alikes (as in Madam and Waylon!)] 12. What they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action. (. . .at the slot machines or the Baccarat tables. . .OR hitting on their secretaries!) 13. They make excellent companions when driving through rough neighborhoods or walking past dark alleys. (Say WHAT!!??!!) 14. They really love their moms. They remind us of our dads. (Richard Simmons loves HIS Mom and doesn't remind me one thing of my Dad!! Nor Dave Letterman. . .hmmmmmmm!!??) 15. They don't mind accompanying a woman to a party even though she looks like a movie star and they look like the chauffeur. (I ain't touchin' that one cuz I know people with limos!!) 16. Their near-endless appetite for discussing the ins and outs of work and money - ours as well as theirs. (well, the ins/outs of about anything and OUR money, in particular) 17. Their genuine ardor for tinkering with toilets, changing oil and assembling gas grills - jobs any intelligent woman can do but would be nuts to volunteer for. (Some do, some don't. . .either THEY do it or it gets HIRED done. . . I don't even want to LEARN that stuff and don't blame them if THEY don't!!) 18. They never care what their horoscope, their mother-in-law, nor the neighbors say. (. . .AMEN!!) 19. They rarely lie about their age, their weight or their clothing size. (. . .don't get this wrong. . .they DO lie about fishing, money and women!!) 20. How awestruck they are in the face of a Wonderbra or a homemade cookie. (. . .all with the same enthusiasm!!) 21. How sexy their butts look in jeans. (. . .this person must know David Bowie!) 22. How sexy their hands look holding ours. (No contest. . .) 23. Their face is a treasure to behold when they give us a present they picked out. (. . .and they are pretty decent about it when we exchange it for something we really like, too!!) 24. Their ignorance is usually amusing (Sometimes. . .depends on OUR mood !!) (If we are REALLY, REALLY gone on him. . .he is the smartest man in the world, regardless of how ignorant. . .did I say that??!!) 25. They have a great sense of competition (Good if it is at work/earning $$$$. . .bad if it is notches on belts or bedposts!!) 26. They can make great sex partners ("CAN" is the operative word here. . .usually have to have some in-house training!) 27. They give great hugs, ( and always melt our hearts when a sweet "I love you Princess" is added) (Princess, Schmitzess. . .all I ask is that I be treated no differently than the Queen!!) 28. Though they often try to hide it, they're very tenderhearted and caring. (and they are MASTERS at hiding it. . .oh, to be fair - there ARE moments. . .) 29. They have an uncanny ability to look deeply into our eyes and connect with our heart, even when we don't want them to (Good when it is hubby/boyfriend. . .BAD when it is David Bowie/Lenny Kravitz) (REALLY bad when it is Bill Clinton. . .) 30. They don't care whether colours match but are willing to be concerned if we want them to be (. . .unless it is at the football game. . .then COLOR counts!!) 31. They can be taught (. . .and when you get one trained. . .just hang in there as the older they get - the harder to train!!!) 32. They give us a peek at the little boy inside when they get sick or happy or hurt. (More like the Pamper/Binky stage. . .)"


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Jose Carreras wylądował w Bydgoszczy
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/4/8193/z8193954M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Światowej sławy śpiewak Jose Carreras w czwartek po południu wylądował na bydgoskim lotnisku. Cessna, którą przyleciał z Madrytu, miała blisko godzinne opóźnienie.
Nikt nie chce kasy. Pieniądze czekają
Dwa tysiące złotych, które ktoś zgubił w banku czeka na właściciela
Ponad 200 milionów za trasę na Wzgórze Wolności
206,6 mln zł wynosi najkorzystniejsza oferta złożona w przetargu na budowę trasy łączącej ul. Ogińskiego ze Wzgórzem Wolności.
W Bydgoszczy powstanie weekendowe przedszkole 
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/3/8123/z8123033M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Pierwsze w kujawsko-pomorskiem weekendowe przedszkole powstanie w Bydgoszczy. Od października studenci zaoczni Kujawsko-Pomorskiej Szkoły Wyższej będą mogli w soboty i niedziele zostawiać dzieci pod fachową opieką.

Losowy


- A blind man walks into a store with his seeing1
- A blind man was describing his favorite sport, p2
- There once was a blind man who decided to visit 3
- A blonde goes into work one morning crying her 4
- A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and5
- The assistant asked the blonde if she would li6
- A blonde was walking down the road with a heal7
- A person went into the office kitchen one morn8
- How to Feed Elephants by P. Nutts9
- Aches and Pains by Arthur Ritis10
- The Spicy Sausage by Delia Katessen11
- The Punished Schoolboy by Major Bumsaw12
- The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss13
- So you are distantly related to the family nex14
- A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good15


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- Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?6
- Who did the dyslexic satanist worship? Santa.7
- What is a wedding tragedy? To marry a man for l8
- A recent survey shows that the commonest form of m9
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- 1. Watch the sunset-- on a sled. 2. Smile more, -12
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a brok13
- What do elves learn in school? The ELF-abet. H14
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor w15
- Is it all right to bring a date to the wedding? N16
- Top 10 signs Santa doesn't like your kid: 10. K17
- Top 10 signs you bought a bad christmas tree: 118
- THE FACTS OF LIFE The 2 most common elements in19
- 1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home wi20


News


Ponad 200 milionów za trasę na Wzgórze Wolności
206,6 mln zł wynosi najkorzystniejsza oferta złożona w przetargu na budowę trasy łączącej ul. Ogińskiego ze Wzgórzem Wolności.
W Bydgoszczy powstanie weekendowe przedszkole 
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/3/8123/z8123033M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Pierwsze w kujawsko-pomorskiem weekendowe przedszkole powstanie w Bydgoszczy. Od października studenci zaoczni Kujawsko-Pomorskiej Szkoły Wyższej będą mogli w soboty i niedziele zostawiać dzieci pod fachową opieką.
Dombrowicz i autopromocja w drodze na Jasną Górę
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/6/8189/z8189406M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Prezydent Dombrowicz jeździ do pielgrzymów na szlak i opowiada im o planach budowy aquaparku, prywatyzacji KPEC-u i projekcie przebudowy Starego Rynku. - Mówię im o tym, bo mnie pytają - twierdzi.
Tygodnie w kolejce do lekarza? Jest rozwiązanie
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/3/7682/z7682163M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Szpitale konkurują o pacjenta. W Świeciu, Nakle i Szubinie kuszą chorych domową atmosferą, krótszymi kolejkami i uprzejmymi lekarzami
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Nawet rzeźba Przechodzącego jest dowodem na ”muzyczność” Bydgoszczy. Linoskoczkowi towarzyszy jaskółka - po niemiecku „Schwalbe”. To przecież hołd oddany Andrzejowi Szwalbemu, który muzycznie rozwinął nasze miasto - pisze Daria Brodziak*
Aquaparku nie będzie. Radni boją się kredytu
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/8/8189/z8189088M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Park wodny w Myślęcinku nie powstanie. Radni nie zgodzili się, żeby miasto poręczyło kilkusetmilionowy kredyt na budowę kompleksu. - Nie stać nas na tak kosztowną inwestycję - argumentowali