Losowy


- Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more. Why1
- The school teacher was furious when Brad knock2
- Q: How many bikers does it take to change a li3
- The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs4
- A math student who used to come to the univers5
- When is a bicycle not a bicycle? When it turns 6
- Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? Because7
- Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle? Because8
- Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ? S9
- What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her h10
- What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ?11
- What do you get if you cross a chemical and a 12


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Category: All new jokes - Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these... Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!" Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme to "Mission Impossible". When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! It's those voices again!" Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. Look right into the security cameras, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" Set up a tent in the Camping Department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bed and Bath aisle. Re-dress mannequins as you see fit. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares." Make a trail of orange juice on the ground leading to the restrooms. Try bras on over your clothes. (works very well if you're a man) Run up to an employee, (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell at him, "I need tampons!" Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking.
Kategoria - Category: All new jokes - Szczegóły aforyzmu

"Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these... Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick Me!! Pick Me!!" Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme to "Mission Impossible". When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! It's those voices again!" Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. Look right into the security cameras, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" Set up a tent in the Camping Department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bed and Bath aisle. Re-dress mannequins as you see fit. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in housewares." Make a trail of orange juice on the ground leading to the restrooms. Try bras on over your clothes. (works very well if you're a man) Run up to an employee, (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell at him, "I need tampons!" Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not looking."

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Nie nasikasz, nie pojedziesz
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/3/8192/z8192003M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Być może za jakiś czas zamiast w toalecie będziemy się załatwiać wprost do baku z paliwem dla domowego robota.
Przyjaźń służy zdrowiu
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/8/8179/z8179888M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Brak przyjaciół może być równie niebezpieczny dla zdrowia jak palenie papierosów czy nadmierne picie alkoholu - donosi „PLoS Medicine”.
Ocean umiera pierwszy
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/6/8191/z8191466M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Naukowcy alarmują: w ciągu ostatniego stulecia drastycznie, bo aż o połowę, spadła ilość fitoplanktonu w oceanach. To bardzo zły znak dla życia na Ziemi
Jeszcze dokładniejszy przeszczep twarzy
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/9/8188/z8188479M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Francuskim lekarzom udało się dokonać najdokładniejszego do tej pory przeszczepu twarzy - donosi „Le Figaro”.

Losowy


- The last time I saw a face like yours I threw 1
- They're not going to grow bananas any longer. 2
- What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try t3
- What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.4
- Teacher: What is Ba + Na2? Pupil: Banana.5
- What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric b6
- What's yellow and always points to the north? 7
- Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing 8
- How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banan9
- Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought 10
- Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't wa11
- Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? 12
- What is yellow on the inside and green on the 13
- What's yellow and flashes? A banana with a loo14
- Mother Banana: Why didn't you go to school tod15


Statystyki

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- Knock Knock Who's there ! Claude ! Claude who1
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Clay ! Clay who ? 2
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Cliff ! Cliff who ?3
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Clinton ! Clinton w4
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Closure ! Closure w5
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Cod ! Cod who ? Co6
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Clown ! Clown who ?7
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Coda ! Coda who ? 8
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Coffin ! Coffin who9
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Cole ! Cole who ? 10
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Colin ! Colin who 11
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Cologne ! Cologne w12
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Comic ! Comic who ?13
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Cookie ! Cookie who14
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Con ! Con who? Con15
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Conga ! Conga who? 16
- Knock Knock Who's there ? Cook ! Cook who ? 17
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ? 18
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Cosi ! Cosi who ? 19
- Knock Knock Who's there ! Costa ! Costa who ?20


News


Ocean umiera pierwszy
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/6/8191/z8191466M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Naukowcy alarmują: w ciągu ostatniego stulecia drastycznie, bo aż o połowę, spadła ilość fitoplanktonu w oceanach. To bardzo zły znak dla życia na Ziemi
Jeszcze dokładniejszy przeszczep twarzy
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/9/8188/z8188479M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Francuskim lekarzom udało się dokonać najdokładniejszego do tej pory przeszczepu twarzy - donosi „Le Figaro”.
Gen pierwszego oddechu
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/4/8186/z8186724M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Pojedynczy gen decyduje o wrodzonej umiejętności oddychania i sprawia, że dziecko robi pierwszy wdech - informuje „New Scientist"
Limuzyna bujająca w chmurach
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/5/8186/z8186475M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Prawo jazdy, licencja pilota i 200 tys. dol. Tyle wystarczy, by już za rok wznieść się w powietrze... samochodem.
Ziemia coraz bardziej zatłoczona
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/1/8183/z8183591M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Od 1930 r. populacja Homo sapiens urosła z 2 do 6,8 mld - donosi serwis BBC.
Słodycze łagodzą obyczaje
<img src='http://bi.gazeta.pl/im/3/8183/z8183053M.jpg' align='left' hspace='4' vspace='2'>Spożycie czegoś słodkiego w stresującej sytuacji łagodzi agresywne reakcje - donosi „Journal of Experimental Social Psychology”